Extra Penis Length

For exceptionally extra-macho behavior.

[A picture of the certificate front was included here, but could no be displayed.] [A picture of the certificate back was included here, but could no be displayed.]

Summer, 1991

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I created the extra penis length certificates in the summer of 1991 to fill a special need. Were you ever talking to somebody about stuff, and suddenly you realize that it's not a conversation, it's a contest, and the other person is trying to win. Frequently, these conversations involve what computer you own, or how hard it is to find shoes in your extra large size.

I realized eventually that these conversations are really about the size of your penis. I also decided that if you get really good at these conversations, there should be some way of acknowledging the ponderous nature of your manhood.

So, I created these certificates. They're meant to be printed out onto both sides of some paper, and then cut into small rectangles, one certificate per piece. Keep a few in your pocket at all times to reward your favorite testosterone junkie.

In case you can't read the back, it says:

	For exceptionally extra-macho behavior, the bearer of
	this card has been granted
			Extra Penis Length
	In the amount of
			One Inch,
	and should be considered to posess a penis one inch
	greater than his actual physical size. This card may be
	combined with other cards for greater penis length.

If you'd like to join the fun, I have some PostScript for a page of certificates, and this Acrobat PDF version. I printed them out onto yellow paper, which looks pretty good.

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